Is someone eating yogurt? ‘Cause I’m extremely lactose intolerant. Even though you’re eating it, I can still get sick.

Is someone eating yogurt? ‘Cause I’m extremely lactose intolerant. Even though you’re eating it, I can still get sick.

1 note


David, she’s only let me down every time I’ve trusted her. What makes you think I can’t trust her again?

David, she’s only let me down every time I’ve trusted her. What makes you think I can’t trust her again?

4 notes

Well are you sure Carrie’s emotionally stable enough for this?

What makes you think she’s not?

18 notes


One more day before I vote!
Wait, Kenan, you didn’t vote? 

One more day before I vote!

Wait, Kenan, you didn’t vote? 

5 notes

I mean whoever built these iPhones, I don’t know what they were thinking. 

Yeah, well let’s ask them. Joining us now are three peasant laborers frim the factory in China where these iPhones were manufactured.

Say what.

1 note

Well the bottom line is, it’s just too thin and light. I mean, I know that we asked for a phone that was lighter and thinner, but this is ridiculous.

Well the bottom line is, it’s just too thin and light. I mean, I know that we asked for a phone that was lighter and thinner, but this is ridiculous.

0 notes

I’m looking for my biological father.